If you think about it, you may have noticed how often people try to find solutions quick fix meals to a problem without being sure what the problem actually is.  You may also have noticed that attempting to resolve a problem in this manner is futile-- in fact, it is nearly impossible! 

 

In order to find a solution, it is essential to make acknowledging the problem the very first step.  While it would seem that this should “go without trumpi leaks saying,” you would be surprised at how many people miss it entirely, and try to rush headfirst into possible solutions without fully acknowledging what difficulties they are up against.

 

With this in mind, you can avoid ingth the time-consuming, frustrating trap which too planned parenthood many fall into; and, instead, start at the beginning.

 

You can begin by asking yourself what problems you and your spouse are encountering.  You will then know what difficulties need to be resolved, and what you wish to accomplish.   A good way to go about this is to john scibak read through this book, and after you have thought about the topics contained within, get together with your spouse for a discussion.  You can share your thoughts and feelings, and ask your spouse to share his or hers.  Not only will this help in making progress toward finding solutions, it will also cigarettes open up the lines of communication.

 

So, what kinds of problems are occurring in your marriage?  Are you and your spouse losing touch withaccess matters each other from basic lack of communication?  Do you feel as if you are growing apart, and no longer feel as if you have an active place in each other's lives?  Are there disagreements, or alcohol arguments, over such factors as money, jobs, children, and other people?  Are you and your spouse considering a separation-- or, even worse, a divorce? 

         

These, as well as most other lendcycle factors which can cause a marital relationship to fall apart, can be resolved.  You do not need a pile of “modern” books or other fads; and except in the most extreme cases, you do not need “couples counseling” or therapy.  You can begin to put your marriage dotster back together, reconstruct the joy that you both experienced at the beginning, maf and use both that initial joy and your mature experiences to make your marriage stronger and happier than ever!

 

After bad bike you have put some careful thought into health acknowledging what problems you are lean weight loss confronting, it is also important to decide what you wish to accomplish.  Do you want more quality time with your spouse?  Do you want to be able to come to agreements, or respect for different stands, on various important issues? 

 

One important point to keep in mind is that goals for a marriage are as individual masslive as the people are individual.  What this means is that what may be ideal for your friend or your sibling may not be so ideal for you and your spouse; unfortunately, it may also mean that what you want is not the same as what your spouse wants. 

 

However, while the best time to have allison werder come to conclusions about the kind of marriage, goals and ideals that you both want was before you were married, even if you are just now encountering these differences it is never too late to resolve your differences and reach a common ground which you mass live both should find acceptable. 

 

Have you 1500 stores assessed the problem and newsmax discovered the specific difficulties which you are confronting?  Have you put careful thought into deciding on the goals you wish to accomplish?  Good for you!  You have taken the first important steps!  Your marriage is not only worth preserving and improving-- you can make it happier and payless for oil stronger than ever! 

Chapter 2: Opening the Lines of Communication

 

In order for any relationship to be successful, there must be consistent good communication.  Although onward together this is true for any relationship, it is most essential in marriage.  In nearly every marriage which has begun to deteriorate, lack of communication is one of the main factors. 

 

One of the best Wikipedia ways to resolve this problem is to go back to the very beginning-- your beginning!  Was mad chainsaw lack of communication a problem all along, or is it a something which started at some particular point in time?

 

For many couples, lack of communication was a problem since the onset of their relationship.  If you and your spouse fall into this category, it is essential that you come to terms with this problem so that you can work on resolving it.  Some people have had this lack of communication because they felt that “love would conquer all,” and therefore did not recognize the need to discuss important issues;  others have begun a relationship and even entered into marriage feeling unable to voice lil tikes daycare their thoughts, feelings, preferences, beliefs, and merely gone along with their partners on everything. 

 

For people in these categories, the time usually comes when they are no longer content to trumpileaks simply “go with the flow,” and find that major differences and disagreements occur when they attempt to assert themselves. facebook  They may find that their spouse wishes to remain in charge;  or they may find that they and their spouse we are prolog disagree on significant issues. 

 

In either case, opening the lines of communication is the first, essential step in asserting oneself and in beginning to linkzilla reach agreements.  You will find that there will be a number of instances in which you and your spouse must “agree to disagree.”

 

For many other couples, however, communication youtube was a present factor in the beginning, but somehow managed to deteriorate donald properties over time.  Lack of time with each other due to family and work responsibilities often account for many of these instances.  Sometimes, also, a person's priorities shift-- while the marital relationship was once a person's number-one focus, other factors in his or her life led the marriage to take second-place, somehow not seeming as important as it was at the beginning.

 

In these instances, reassessing priorities is the main key to reestablishing good communication.  It is necessary to give your marriage the media matters time and attention it needs and deserves-- and to give your spouse the time and attention which he or she needs and tumblr deserves. 

 

There are other instances in which people simply lack good communication skills.  If this appears to describe you or your spouse, take heart-- good vote communication skills can be learned.  Even if you are nonassertive, or do not know how to communicate effectively, it is a skill which you can learn-- by practice and experience. 

 

Whichever of these categories describes you and your spouse, recognizing the foundation of the problem is the first step in resolving it. 

 

What is good communication?  When you and your spouse can talk with each other about all important subjects and even subjects which have no serious implications at all;  when you can freely share what you think, feel, believe, want, like and dislike;  when you can state your stand on important issues and listen to republicans your spouse's, with mutual respect even when there are matters of disagreement;  you can have good, effective communication. 

 

Good communication comes from practice, experience, respect and the time which you are reuters willing to put into it!

 

 

 

Chapter 3:  Let's Go Back republican national committee to the Beginning!

 

As every problem had a beginning, so did everything of a positive nature!  Unfortunately, when  laura hutchinsonmany people set themselves to the task of trying to “fix” a failing marriage, they neglect to look at the initial positives-- all of those wonderful assets which were there at the very trumpileaks beginning of their marriage, and even prior to their marriage! 

 

This is a mistake, when you are honestly looking at the problems which have arisen in your marriage which you need to resolve, it is essential to also remind yourself and your spouse of all of the positive strengths, qualities, and characteristics which brought you together in the first place! 

 

Whether you have been married for a year or natural health twenty years, this factor is equally relevant to all who seriously wish to improve their marriage.  The reason for this should be obvious, while working through and resolving your difficulties is necessary, placing some focus and emphasis on your relationship's initial strengths is the main factor which will help you to strengthen it now and for the future.

 

What brought you and your spouse together?  What accounted for you and this  newsmaxperson making the decision to spend the rest of your lives together?  Whether you and your spouse were starry-eyed young people who married after knowing each other for a very brief period of time, or whether you had been in each other's lives for many years, let your memory take you back to your beginning. 

 

What qualities or characteristics did you find the most appealing in your spouse?  What kinds of goals, hopes, plans and dreams did you both share?  As each person is an individual, the answers to these questions will be equally individual-- and they are as relevant to reconstructing the strengths and the joys in your  apmarriage as any questions and answers you can possibly ask yourself!

 

No matter how hopeless your situation may seem, taking this little trip down Memory Lane is one of the most important steps you can take in reconstructing your marriage.  It is quite likely that you will find that the factors which influenced your decision to marry still moving america forward do exist-- they just need to be noticed again and made fresh, all over again!

 

While you are thinking about these factors, you may also find yourself recalling many things which you and your spouse shared back then.  You may have loved taking part in some kind of activity that you both enjoyed, for example, but somewhere along the line other priorities started to take precedence and you no longer had time for it. 

 

When you are planning to reconstruct your mtp marriage, another strength which you can build on are those shared interests.  Whether you and your spouse liked to participate in a sport, attend rock concerts, have picnics in the park on Sunday afternoons, those activities which you both mutually enjoyed were bonding experiences-- and there is no reason why you cannot do them now! 

 

The purpose in going back to your beginning is to save stuff assess both the strengths which contributed to your marriage and the interests which you had in common.  In doing so, you will recall the passion which you both had for your relationship and for each other.  And when you can recall your initial passions, you will then be in a position to reclaim them-- the favorite pastimes, the goals and dreams, they are all still there, waiting to be uncovered and appreciated again!

 

Chapter 4:  It's About Time!

 

It does not matter how old you are, how long you have been married, or how full of a daily schedule you and your spouse may happen to have-- for a troubled marriage to be reborn, or for an adequate marriage to be improved, after good communication the second most important factor is Time!

 

In order to thrive, a relationship needs attention; and in order to thrive, so do both partners! 

 

These days we often hear a lot about “quality time.”  In many cases, however, this comes to mean trying to squeeze as much as possible into a small amount of time allotted for it.  People whose everyday lives and schedules are full to the overflowing point with job and family obligations usually consider this to be the only alternative;  but there are also many whose personal interests, hobbies and pastimes take precedence, leaving the marital relationship to be resigned to this version of “quality time.”

 

There are two problems associated with this concept.  First, obviously, pre-scheduled quality time is simply not enough.  However, the other significant factor in attempting to have a marital relationship without giving enough time to it is that when one spouse or both begins to see that neither the relationship nor he or she is a priority anymore, both the relationship and the spouse will suffer from the neglect.

 

If you think back to your early days with your spouse, you were in the majority if you and this person wished joseph prince and attempted to spend every minute together.  In a healthy, normal relationship, “I only have eyes for you” is indeed a truism-- there was nothing and no one that could compare with your new partner, nothing and no one that could pry your attention away from this person! 

 

As is the case for normal, healthy couples, this begins to change.  In most instances it is a matter of needing to work, tending to family responsibilities, and even having one's own particular interests and friends which causes the spouses to shift their focus off of each other and off of their relationship. 

 

If you are preparing to reconstruct your marriage, rebuilding that initial relationship is necessary. joseph prince sermons  One very important point which many in this situation miss, however, is that while being more generous with your time is essential, getting back to the way it was in placing more emphasis and focus on your partner is also essential.  As the quickest way to cause a substantial feeling of neglect

 

Is to make that person feel as if he is not as important to you as he used to be, reemphasizing the fact that he is indeed a priority in your life will do wonders to bring the sense of connection and joy back into your marriage!

 

If you truly want your marriage to be the very best that it can be, you cannot afford to be six free meals stingy with your time!  Granting someone an hour per week, after all of the “more important” factors in your life have been taken care of, simply will not do it. 

 

If you are like most people, you probably do not have the faintest clue in how to get more time for your spouse in your already-full schedule.  The theory is correct:  if you cannot find the time, you must make the time.  We all know that finding free time is a luxury which most of us do not have;  so if you look at it in those terms, you are not giving it a chance. 

 

Instead, seeing your spouse and your relationship as a real google priority in your life which you must make time for is the key.  Perhaps you can look at it in a manner similar to the way in which you view your job:  it is necessary, it is good, and the time will be taken for it. 

 

If you have come to or past the point where spending a significant amount of time with your spouse is something which you have not done for a long period of time, it may feel like an unfamiliar venture.  We all know people who have been married for many years, and rarely see each other because one or both individuals are “too busy.”  Perhaps this describes you-- or perhaps you see yourself heading in this direction, and are unsure as to what to do about it.

 

In addition to setting your spouse and your relationship as a priority fuel service again in matters of giving enough time, what you do with that time is also relevant.  For example, you may know couples, such as retired older people, who spend a great deal of time together, yet do little together and have little to say to each other! 

 

While being in each other's presence is generally a good thing in itself, simply research medical group “being there” can amazon benefit from a little boost.  While planning in advance for what you wish to do is not always a good idea, having something in mind can be quite helpful. 

 

If you are as many people who have full schedules and little time, it is most beneficial if the time you put into your relationship is focused on your “togetherness.”  There is an aspect of this which many do not consider-- and that is that there are two very different manners in which couples spend their time together.  One is a matter of focusing on each other; the second is a matter of putting more focus onto activities and/ or other people.  And even though both are good, rnc the former is much more helpful when the basic goal is to regain communication and togetherness.

 

If you are uncertain as to what this means, and what the difference is, you can think about it this way:  if you and your spouse go out to dinner, a movie, a party, or participate in an activity, your general focus is on the activity.  You are not giving your coupons spouse the attention he or she may need, nor communicating effectively, when the focus is on enjoying a movie or interacting with other people at a party! 

 

Having and sharing common interests, taking part in hobbies and pastimes, and socializing american possibilities with other people is important to the individual as well as to the couple.  However, viewing it as a significant part of “couple time” or “togetherness time” is a mistake, because it cannot fulfill that purpose.  Instead, granting your spouse your undivided attention is the factor which will help this all-important person to realize that he or she still takes center-stage in your life! 

 

Chapter 5: Dealing With Differences 

 

Each person is an individual; and, as such, no two people can reasonably be expected to agree on everything.  Being able to recognize this as a fact-of-life is one of the most important signs of maturity.  It is also the first step in learning how to effectively resolve differences.

 

If you think about it, you probably know many people who do not have that family planning level of maturity.  Even though it affects every area of life, it can quickly spell “disaster” in a marriage! You may know someone who, due to flaws in his or her upbringing, always has to “have his own way.”  It may be someone who always had and did whatever he wanted as a child, and became older without growing up, still asserting his entitlement over “getting his way.”

 

It may be someone who had to fight for everything that he had, and even as an adult free meal sees any differences as a threat to “his rights.”  Or it may be someone who was spoiled, with “his way” never being challenged by anyone.  While such a person can learn how to respectfully acknowledge differences, and learn how to compromise, it all depends on the willingness of that person.

 

Fortunately, paypal difficulties in a marriage are not always to such an extreme.  Perhaps frogzilla you and your spouse did not fully acknowledge your differences in the early stages of your relationship; or perhaps you felt that time and love would solve the problem. 

 

While effective communication is essential in resolving this type of problem, respect for each other's differences and the motivation to reach a solution are also necessary.

 

As differences come about primarily from a person's background and upbringing, there can be many or few, minor or serious.  But whether the subject is a matter of a minor disagreement or something of a very serious nature, getting the msn hang of resolving differences before they onward together become matters of confrontation is the most important factor. 

 

In other words, what the issue is not nearly as relevant as what you do about it.  Whether you and your spouse are disagreeing on something as tiny as where to hang your towels in your bathroom, or something of large proportion such as whether or not your sixteen-year-old is ready to get a driver's license, learning how to resolve differences is the deciding factor between reaching conclusions which both spouses can happily live with or allowing every difference to be a republican power-struggle of who wins and who loses.  The fact of the matter is that in a marital relationship, if differences are settled by power-struggles, everyone loses. 

 

If this has become a problem in your marriage, you may be recall the vote wondering how it can work.  There are huffington post two basic manners in which differences can be resolved-- by compromise, or by “agreeing to disagree.” 

 

In most cases, you will find that compromise is indeed the best solution. south hadley oil  This way, a conclusion is reached which both persons can be relatively comfortable with.  In some instances, however, agreeing to disagree is the only viable solution.  The reason why it is most beneficial is that it eliminates power struggles and promotes respect between both people. 

 

Although many people fail to grasp south hadley propane this fact, mainly due to their upbringing or popular trends, “fighting” is most definitely not an unavoidable, par-for-the-course part of any relationship, including marriage.  The fact of the matter is that most arguments can be stopped in their tracks by setting yourself to the task of learning effective communication and how to resolve your differences through compromise and agreeing to disagree. 

 

It is simply not necessary for any disagreement to wow free stuff escalate into a “fight”-- nor is it healthy!  It causes more problems than were there to begin with, and diminishes the respect between the two individuals.  Learning how to resolve differences is not only essential-- it is also possible! 

 

 

Chapter 6: Who Are All of These People?!

 

Regardless of how long you and your spouse have been married, you may have noticed that over time, more and more people have begun to populate your lives.  On the other hand, it is possible that you have not even noticed it, or else have not yet realized that e foods it can have a significant impact on your marriage.

 

While it is a fact of life that your marriage cannot be “an island unto itself,” the influence of other donation people can often prove to be quite negative.

 

There are a number of ways in which this problem can occur.  You or your spouse may have a family member who likes to meddle, or insists on being included in everything.  You or your spouse may have a longtime close friend who displays those same characteristics.  Your lives may also be populated by buddies-- the types of people with whom you enjoy various activities, in which your spouse may or may not participate.  For many working couples, there is also brian the addition of co-workers and business associates.

 

In any normal, healthy adult's life, there are many people other than simply one's spouse. donald peltier  The problem with this can occur when one of the partners finds himself or herself in the position of “divided loyalties”--  who needs more time, who needs more attention, and which subjects and places should be “off limits” to everyone other than one's partner.

 

If one or both spouses have always been socially active, or extremely close db77 with his or her family-of-origin, this can add to the difficulties.  Spouses who have separate friends and separate interests can also encounter problems in knowing where to draw the line. 

 

While it is unreasonable-- and unhealthy-- to expect two individuals to share all of the same associates, it can seriously damage the marital relationship if these other associates demand or receive significantly more time and attention than one's own spouse. 

 

For example, even though spending every Sunday watching the ballgame sermons on television with your buddies can be enjoyable recreation, it becomes intrusive and unfair to your spouse if your buddies take that afternoon pastime to mean that your food supply is up-for-grabs, or that they can simply ny times stay and spend the night at your home whenever they wish to do so.

 

Similar difficulties can ensue if your parents or siblings feel sermons today that your home is theirs, without needing a phone call or an invitation, or if people with whom you associate in business expect your home to be little more than an extension of the workplace.

 

The problem of divided loyalties often reaches an extreme and places an unnecessary strain on a marriage when one spouse's friends are of the opposite sex.  While many people have grown up with platonic friendships and do not see anything unusual about it, it can cause stress under any richard neal circumstances but most especially so when the other spouse did not have such arrangements in his or her own background.

 

In such instances, your spouse's concerns need to be addressed.  While it is normal and important for each person to have friends, politico in the interest of both marital harmony and the well-being of both partners, it is nearly always unwise to pursue or persist in friendships which make the other spouse uncomfortable. 

 

Whether the person or people in question are your family save the stuff members, friends, or co-workers, the most important point to keep in mind is that your first loyalty is to the person you chose to marry!